My New Diet

This week I made a major decision in my life, I am going to watch what I eat to gain a competitive edge in sports. Now the question is which diet to choose from?
I could try the Slim Fast diet but it probably wont help me much because I'm skinny enough as is. Maybe if I ate nothing but pastas and meat I could beef up a little. Then it hit me like daddy hit mommy, what do almost all major basketball stars have in common?
I think you all know where I'm going with this. In order to get a tan I'm going to eat nothing but chicken and watermelon. I even did my research and have proof that it works. You see Micheal Jackson? He stopped eating his chicken and watermelon; and we all know what happened to him, he faded.
The tan will directly influence my mad basketball skills and I will be one step closer to being the next LeBron James. You may laugh at me now but when I'm leaving you in the dust out on the court I'll be the one laughing.